March 8th is here again, folks and you know what that means—corporate emails reminding us how much they value women, panel discussions with four men and a token woman. The board rooms are filled with enough pink-themed products to make even Barbie say, “Okay, that’s a bit much.” But this year, IWD2025 is all about #AccelerateAction. What better way to accelerate than to host The Great Gender Parity Race!
The Rules
Competitors will navigate through the course, overcoming various real-life obstacles that women face daily. Spoiler alert: The men’s track is suspiciously well-paved, while the women’s is littered with glass ceilings, pay gaps, and unsolicited career advice from Bob in accounting.
Checkpoint 1: The Pay Gap Pitfall
Ladies, before you even start running, you’ll be paid 82 cents to the dollar compared to male competitors. But don’t worry! You can “negotiate” for a better start—though you’ll likely be told you’re being too aggressive or not assertive enough.
Checkpoint 2: The Leadership Labyrinth
Here, women must navigate an endless maze of “We’re just not sure you’re leadership material” while watching their male counterparts receive promotions at the speed of light. Bonus round: If you do make it to the top, enjoy the complimentary label of bossy!
Checkpoint 3: The Working Mother Marathon
For those who choose to participate, this section requires managing a full-time job, childcare, meal prep, and PTO requests that mysteriously disappear when schools close. Oh, and remember—men who help out are super dads, while women who juggle it all are just doing their job.
Checkpoint 4: The Mansplaining Maze
Final challenge! Here, competitors will be generously guided through their own area of expertise by men who read half an article on the topic. Side quests include avoiding interruptions in meetings and resisting the urge to scream into a pillow.
The Finish Line: A Gender-Equal World?
Who wins the race? Well, that’s still TBD. But with more people actually accelerating action (instead of just saying they will in their LinkedIn posts), maybe next year, we’ll all run on the same track.
Happy International Women’s Day! And remember—celebration is great, but real change? Even better.
